'Hot Girls for Zohran' Campaign Implodes After Overweight Woman Spotted at Dime Square Rally
Cuomo Causes Stampede at Nursing Home, Still Finds Time to Lecture About 17-Inch Waist Sizes
“DIME SQUARE” - “Hot girls for Zohran” is in imminent danger after supporters fled when an overweight woman was spotted at a local rally in Soho.
The moment the horizontally challenged woman was spotted, the chants of “Fast and Free Buses” were replaced with “just pull trig, I do it before my modeling gig every Tuesday”
“I mean, I was shocked,” said a 4’10 85 pound 20 year old who gave her name as Britenney. “Especially in the age of Ozempic, I feel like they should just get it together.”
However, a fellow campaigner reassured the crying Britenney that one of Zohran’s signature campaign promises was to distribute free Ozempic at the entrance of every Blank Street Coffee location and converted warehouse club.
Former governor Cuomo, minutes after his arrival at Oak Hills Nursing Home caused a stampede of fleeing residents, commented on his rival’s troubles.
“Whenever teenagers came into my office when I was governor, I already had verified that their waist size was, at most, 17 inches.”